


bouquet

by stuck_on_wonho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluffy, Like Super Duper Fluffy, M/M, bnoir are such sneaks but we love em anyway, changkyun is just a marshmallow that needs to be protected at all costs, domestic showhyuk is goals, flowers and cutesy letters, gunhee is a idol trainee, hoseok the caring bf, hyungwon is always sleeping, jooheon loves gunhee so much lol, kihyun is a sassy photography major that needs a man, nu'bilitys here to peeps, partial text format, univeristy au cause why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2018-10-25 00:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuck_on_wonho/pseuds/stuck_on_wonho
Summary: ❝ how many flowers do i have to send before you realise i'm the one whose fallen so helplessly for you? ❞© stuck-on-wonho · 2017





	1. 零 ❀ intro

**_unknown_** _:_ if i send you a flower a day, how many days will it take you to realise i'm the one whose fallen so helplessly in love with you?

**_me_** _:_ do i know you??

**_unknown_** _:_ dammit i pressed send  
**_unknown_** _:_ just wait for your first flower, kihyun-ah

**_me_** _:_ okay???

❀

kihyun receives a strange message from an unknown number late at night, then beautiful flowers are left in his bag every single day after. whose the unknown person sending them?

**© stuck-on-wonho · 2017**


	2. 一 ❀ one

**ONE**

     **K** IHYUN sighed loudly, throwing his phone onto the bed as it's screen faded to black, the unknown stranger clearly not intending to send another message. pink spread across the top's of his cheeks shamelessly from the first message sent and he wished that it wasn't just hyungwon and hoseok pranking late at night again. his heart hoped but it was just a foolish thought, after all who would actually fall for someone like him anyway?

    adjusting the glasses that rested dangerously on the tip of his nose,  the brunette glanced at the various photographs that were strewn across his desk's wooden surface. they had been his focus point for the last three and a half hours, trying to find any that fit in with the memo of the photography portfolio assignment due next week. but none of them fit in right, not being the needed jigsaw pieces to complete the picture. kihyun hated that he could feel that missing puzzle piece, it increased his longing. that longing only lead to more photographs and more disappointment as the piece continued to be missing.

    when he started yawning and rubbing his eyes, the short male called it a night. he tucked away the few photos that had the right pieces, the rest placed in a mint-green box that sat at the corner of his desk. he'd bought the box two years back, when he first enrolled into the university. now all it held was his long collection of photos, no matter how blurry or how bad kihyun had messed up the shot, all of them were in that box. after brushing his teeth, he shuffled towards the bed and huddled under the covers. he fell asleep quickly, his mind conjuring up an impossible faces for the stranger with the sweet words.

    he woke in a panic hours later, the tone his third alarm blaring by his head, signalling that kihyun had slept in by two hours. he didn't actually need to get up two hours ago though, since his vocal lessons still didn't start for another three hours even when he woke up late. he just preferred to get up so he could cook his roommates breakfast, one of them had the capability of burning water and the other rarely cooked. scrambling out of bed in his hurry, he was clumsy with his feet and the blankets tangled around his ankles sending the short male down to the floor swearing profanities.

    with a few tugs, careful finger manoeuvres and serious threats to cut the blanket to shreds with scissors, his legs were free and the brunette started to get dressed since he didn't want to make his roommates wait for their breakfast any longer. fixing his grey beanie one last time, he put on his oversized black bomber jacket and head into the kitchen. he sighed thankfully when he didn't come face-to-face with flames although seeing the broad expanse of hyunwoo's back in front of the stove, knowing that minhyuk had to be wrapped in another of his backhugs since the taller male was the one who couldn't cook to save his life.

    "morning guys" kihyun greeted tiredly, sitting down and thanking the fact that he was good at applying his makeup, hiding away the dark circles that showed he'd had another late night despite hyunwoo telling him to stop. "morning ki" minhyuk chirped back happily, turning around slighty and hyunwoo following to show that he was indeed behind his boyfriend's large frame. his blonde hair was still messy from sleep and mouth stretched into the brightest smile.

    "and before you ask, i'm making breakfast because it clearly looked like you needed the sleep in. another late night?" minhyuk piped up and was kihyun groaned in response, his makeup skills unable to hide anything if the blonde had seen his bare face. "lost track of time, I was working on my portfolio last night" he replied and minhyuk made a noise in his throat, understanding since he was also an arts major, but rather into the paintings side than the photography side.

    after breakfast, the three of them walked towards their universities main building was luckily wasn't far since their apartment complex was on the fringes of the grounds. hyunwoo had his arm slung across the top of minhyuk's shoulders, pressing the shorter into his side while kihyun trailed behind the pair. he was looking at the messages from last night again, although he shouldn't have since it was only fuelling his lonely heart's desires more. regardless, he was still going to kill hyungwon and his boyfriend if it was just those two pranking him last night. they'd done it enough times that it was a possibility.

    resting on the front steps the group of three became four when the youngest, jooheon, was dropped off by his boyfriend moments later. gunhee was a trainee idol at one of the entertainment companies close by, so he could only drop his jooheon off in the mornings. he said his sleepy hellos, also sitting down and resting his head on kihyun' shoulder to wait for the last two of their group. four finally became six when hoseok walked up minutes later, piggy-backing his sleepy boyfriend who took longer to wake up then all of them combined.

    "there you two are! i seriously thought you were going to skip classes again" minhyuk laughed and hoseok shook his head "nah, hyungwon's been told off for doing that too many times now". kihyun's heart continued to ache a little as he watched their group interact, adding in his opinions at times to let them know he was still paying attention  _partly_. minhyuk had hyunwoo, hoseok had hyungwon, jooheon had gunhee but what did kihyun have? photography was the only thing he had besides friends, but that wasn't going to keep him happy when he was old and alone, probably ending up with seventy cats rather than a husband.

    the first bell rung and kihyun sighed gratefully, singing was the one thing that could help soothe him right now. minhyuk waved everyone goodbye as he headed to his art class, jooheon and hyunwoo doing the same as the also headed to their own first classes. it left the brunette alone with hoseok and hyungwon, who also had vocal lessons with him.

    the trio walked together slowly and the shortest of them contemplated asking them about the messages, the only thing holding him back was his heart with the stupid flimsy hope that maybe, just maybe there actually was a person interested in him. just as they reached the door, kihyun decided to ask anyway and turned towards hoseok.

    "hoseok, did you and hyungwon decide to prank me last night?" he asked and watched the older boy stiffen up, red coating his cheeks and the tips of his ears. he chuckled almost nervously as he pushed open the door "what would make you say that?". kihyun was suspicious, something was off with the way he was reacting, usually he'd just laugh. instead he was blushing, playing with his fingers and refusing to make eye-contact with the younger. tugging a loose string of his shirt between his fingertips, kihyun calmly answered "i just got a message last night and i thought it might have been you and hyungwon again".

    "we haven't pranked you in fore—kihyun, there's a flower on your table" hoseok started to speak, cutting off his own sentence with a little gasp as he pointed at the lone striped red-and-white flower that did indeed sit at the table where kihyun usually sat. kihyun picked up both the flower and the letter beneath it, admiring it's large curled outward petals and sweet scent. the letter thankfully wasn't in an envelope so the brunette merely unfolded it, his other hand gripping gently onto the stem of the amaryllis flower.

 

_dear kihyun,_

_this flower is supposed to mean splendid beauty, but your beauty is far greater than merely splendid. no matter how many times i see you, my breath still gets caught in my throat and i have to remind myself how to breathe. if only i was as beautiful as you, maybe i would have a chance with you._

_yours_ _sincerely,_   
_xx_


	3. 二 ❀ two

**TWO**

**_me_** _:_  thank you for the beautiful flower

 ** _xx_** _:_ you actually kept my number, kihyun-ah?

 ** _me_** _:_  i prefer knowing someone who holds interest in me  
 ** _me_** _:_  it makes dating much easier, don't you think?

 ** _xx_**  : w-wait what?  
 ** _xx_**  : i think i just went to heaven or something

 ** _me_** _:_  i am serious, if that's what you're thinking  
 ** _me_** _:_ i want to get to know you  
 ** _me_** _:_  it's also been a long time since someones liked me

 ** _xx_** _:_  okay, someone has to have taken kihyun-ah's phone...  
 ** _xx_**  : my heart is dying  
 ** _xx_**  : this has to be a joke right?

 ** _me_**  : no joke  
 ** _me_**  : i want to get to know you  
 ** _me_**  : also you can drop the formalities  
 ** _me_**  : call me kihyun

 ** _xx_** **:** okay, kihyun  
 ** _xx_**  : i think i'm gonna faint now  
 ** _xx_**  : g o o d b y e

 ** _me_**  : no don't go  
 ** _me_**  : how can we talk if you leave?

 ** _xx_**  : i'll talk more after the next flower

 ** _me_**  : there's another?

 ** _xx_**  : of course  
 ** _xx_**  : i promised you didn't i?  
 ** _xx_**  : i will keep sending them, till you know who i am  
 ** _xx_**  : goodbye for now, love

❀

 **K** IHYUN blushed scarlet when he finally put down his phone, matching parts of an amaryllis flower that sat lonely in it's vase on the kitchen's countertop. continuing to eat his now cold-food like he hadn't been texting for the last twenty minutes, the short male disregarded his friend's questioning stares that he could feel burning into the crown of his hair. after all, when was the last time that kihyun blushed looking at his phone— or to be more precise, when was the last time he had blushed at all?

    it wasn't like he didn't want to have someone to be his other half, because he did, but no one ever approached him. and the only person who really caught his eye was found within a good quarter of his photographs, but jooheon rarely brought his friend around which meant barely a sentence had been spoken between the pair. so it left the brunette almost-pining rather hopelessly after the other, taking pictures of the blossoming sakura tree and claiming that it was beautiful, whilst the tree was, it was rather the boy under the said tree that was truly  _beautiful_.

    choking a little on his food, kihyun coughed when one of his better photographs of the male popped into his head. the other's head was leaned back, body weight resting on bent elbows with his legs stretched out lazily in front of him. face relaxed with his eyes closed, kihyun had only watched fascinated as a blossom floated down and tangled itself his currently-dyed black hair, calmly taking the shot and  praying that the shutter wasn't loud enough to make the boy open his eyes at the noise, before getting up and walking away.

    minhyuk merely giggled when the younger choked, turning to whisper something into hyunwoo's ear. the eldest of the three turned a bright shade of red as well, hiding his face away in his hands to hide his embarassment that the words that had just left his boyfriends mouth. why did his sweet minhyuk not have a filter?

    focusing back onto his two friends across from him, kihyun creased his eyebrows a little when he noticed just how strange they were acting. minhyuk was smiling, with a mixture of a look both knowing and proud whereas hyunwoo was trying to bury himself into his hands like he had when he'd accidentally walked into hoseok and hyungwon making out quite heavily on their couch. letting out a soft laugh, he easily concluded that minhyuk had to have whispered something dirty into his ear since it was the only time that he went his signature fire truck-red in the face. 

    "come on, you two, we might want to head to class now if we want to be on time" kihyun ended up commenting minutes later, when hyunwoo still hadn't moved an inch and neither had minhyuk. the blonde scoffed playfully, standing up and putting both his and hyunwoo's dishes in the sink "if we run late, it's more your fault than ours. we weren't the ones staring at a phone and blushing red for a good fifteen minutes— at least!". the brunette flushed a pale pink when he remembered what the other person,  _xx_ , had called him.

    "okay okay, now come on. i have my photography class first today remember, and i really need mr. park to have a look over my portfolio and check my progress" he easily chided back, also standing up and putting his dishes in the sink, leaving hyunwoo to be the last to stand. his face had calmed down, not a vibrant red any longer but now a dark pink that was quickly becoming lighter. "don't see the reason to rush then, you are mr. park's favourite student after all" minhyuk called back from his and the tallest male's shared bedroom, popping his ruffled blonde head out as he pulled a thick grey sweater on. kihyun sighed "favouritism gets you nowhere though, it's effort that does"

    all three of them were silent after kihyun's breathed out reply, quietly walking around to get dressed for the day. they all pulled on thick sweaters, winter was still a good week and a half away but the wind already had it's bite. after a second thought, kihyun also put on a thinner zip-open black jacket over his thick cream knitted sweater, being more sensitive to the cold than his friends.

    the walk to the university was quicker than the day before, not really intent of walking slower and letting the cold wind freeze them to the bone. instead of meeting at the front steps, the group of six sat at the university's cafë with warm coffees in the palms of their hands, watching as the wind carried off all the fallen leaves and blossoms of the autumn season. hyungwon had perched on hoseok's lap, slightly curling into the older male for warmth, he was more sensitive to the cold than kihyun was. minhyuk finished his drink before doing the same, hyunwoo's bicep easily curling around the younger's slim waist.

    it made both kihyun and jooheon's hearts pang ; only for two different reasons. jooheon wanted to be like that with gunhee, but being an idol-trainee had it's limitations so he wasn't able to physically go to university and instead had to take the online classes. kihyun's heart just panged from loneliness, only now putting the emotion to the feeling since he continuously pushed it back, pushing it to the corner's of his mind so he could put his friends first. but having these flowers show up and the sweet messages with them, pushed kihyun out into the spotlight. he was so unbearably  _lonely_.

    that thought alone made him finish his drink quicker than usual, the vanilla latte warming his chest as he collected his precious portfolio that rested on the table "guys, i'm going to head off now" he announced, waving goodbye and hearing minhyuk playfully call out "professor's pet" to his retreating back.

    he entered the room with clear intent to talk to his professor about his portfolio, instead he saw the older man with a frazzled look on his face, clutching a letter in one hand and holding a second flower delicately in the other. "sir, i wanted to talk to you about my portfolio" kihyun asked easily, pushing away the fact that what was being held in the professor's hands could possibly be meant for him. blinking the professor turned his eyes towards him, his eyes crinkling at the corners with crow's feet to betray his age "ah yes kihyun, these are for you. a boy just dropped them off, looked quite spooked too if i must say. a boyfriend of yours?" 

    kihyun just smiled warmly in return, taking the gifts from the professor's outstretched hands "no sir, more like a secret admirer". the male turned a light pink for the second time that day, smelling how sweet the flower was. it was a tulip, that much kihyun could tell, with wide yellow petals with a ruby red almost leaking in from the bottom. "he must be pretty infatuated with you. if i'm not wrong, that's a variegated tulip and it means 'beautiful eyes' in the flower language. i buy my wife those tulips every year for our anniversary, she loves them" the professor replied easily, not helping his student's blush at all as it deepened further. walking back to his desk at the front of the room, he sat down "talk about your portfolio after kihyun, i would much prefer you to read your letter. after all, there's still twenty-five minutes until class actually starts" he said in a fatherly tone, pulling a book out of one of his drawers and beginning to read.

    kihyun obliged and opened the letter with hasty but careful fingers.

_hello love,_

_did you know that the first thing that caught my attention was your eyes? they were so captivating and warm. i always slowed my steps a little when i saw you with your friends, just to see those eyes of yours crinkle when you smiled, becoming my favourite type of crescent. also when you would laugh, not only would your eyes crinkles but the smallest of dimples would appear, marking both sides of your gorgeous face. my heart would pound frantically, begging me to go to you. maybe on day i will get the chance..._

_yours sincerely_ ,  
 _xx_

❀

_for anyone that is a little confused by how different the first and second chapter is in sappiness, it's because the first chapter focused more on kihyun and what his daily life at university is like (as well has who he hangs out with— so that their personalities build on as with the main characters), rather than the message and the flower which although mentioned a lot, isn't really the main topic. chapter two focuses more on the pair, both kihyun and xx, looking into more of kihyun's thoughts and emotions rather than his actions, also how xx thinks of kihyun (which will also eventually grown in the future also). so stay tuned, cause this story is only just unfolding. are you ready, my little honeybees?_


	4. 三 ❀ three

**FOUR**

**_unknown :_** i can see you beautiful  
 ** _unknown :_** your hair looks fluffier than yesterday  
 ** _unknown :_** did you get it cut

 ** _me :_** i'm in class  
 ** _me :_** how can you possibly see me?  
 ** _me :_** are you in my class??  
 ** _me :_** and yeah i got it cut this morning  
 ** _me :_** you noticed?

 ** _unknown :_** i guess you won't know until you figure out my identity sweetheart  
 ** _unknown :_** i could be   
 ** _unknown :_** or i could have just walked past the door and seen you  
 ** _unknown :_** and of course i noticed  
 ** _unknown :_** i notice everything about you

 ** _me :_** why can't you just tell me?  
 ** _me :_** by the time i know who you are, you won't like me anymore   
 ** _me_**  : i'm horrible at being investigative   
 ** _me_**  : can you give me a hint  
 ** _me :_** i dont know, maybe your name?

 ** _unknown :_** youre as smooth as sandpaper  
 ** _unknown :_** however a name i can do, you never said it had to be my actual

 ** _me :_** wait—

 ** _unknown :_** kkukkung   
 ** _unknown :_** and daniel

 ** _me :_** kkukkung? puppy?

 ** _unknown :_** yeah, apparentally i look like a puppy   
 ** _unknown :_** my friends have a strange sense of humor

 ** _me :_** and daniel? that's a western name

 ** _unknown :_** i lived in the states for a couple years so i had to adapt  
 ** _unknown :_** but that isn't the important thing, baby   
 ** _unknown :_** i would get off your phone

 ** _me :_** okay my kkukkungie

 ** _unknown :_** i would say i regret telling you that  
 ** _unknown :_** but now it just makes me want you to say it to me  
 ** _unknown :_** not over text  
 ** _unknown :_** until later, love

**❀**

**K** IHYUN swallowed hard, still not accustomed to the pet names he was endlessly being peppered with and it took time for him to get his unwilling body to comply, pushing down the blush that wanted to creep up his neck. playing with a cheeky lock of hair that pulled free from his styled-up hair, he stretched out the brunette strands until his fingertips were gently pressed into his eyebrows, the fresh-cut tips barely grazing the skin of his eyelid. releasing, his eyes followed after it as it bounced back up and returning to it's original position before being stretched out.

    he had to go to the salon this morning, realising yesterday that it was getting too long and also that his black roots were returning, ending up making the brunette re-dye. kihyun wasn't alone however, minhyuk coming along so that he could get toners. the blonde was getting tired of his hair colour and wanted to dye it red instead, but hyunwoo said no and they agreed on buying the toners. it led to a grumpy blonde who quickly became cheeky, filling his arms up with assortment of toners and any other hair products that could change his hair colour but not dye it. when kihyun quirked an eyebrow, minhyuk smirked "he said i couldn't dye it, so i won't. i'll just turn my hair all colours of the rainbow" and leaving the younger male questioning how the pair ended up together, with minhyuk being overly-eccentric and bubbly while hyunwoo was more calm and collected.

    shaking his head to recollect his thoughts, he focused his eyes on the currently lilac-haired male next to him who was listening to the professor unlike him. he put his phone away and grabbed out his notebook instead, jotting down notes easily as the teacher spoke and doodling little pictures in the edges of his pages when he wasn't.

    so many questions plagued his mind now, and they were the types of questions that weren't able to be answered by anyone but kihyun so it was frustrating. he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that secret admirer refused to de-mask himself, even when he was a boy and he knew kihyun was gay. it was a little hurtful for the brunette, to be seem as someone who must look like he values looks over personality to others. making a mental note to change whatever habits encouraged those thoughts, his eyes flickered down to the seemingly random babble on his page in black ink that wasn't as random as the short male thought.

_kkukkung_   
_daniel_   
_lived in the states_   
_a centimetre shorter_   
_bi_   
_a boy_   
_sarcastic but sweet_   
_observant_

    kihyun had started to write a list without even thinking of it, and he had to congratulate his subconscious mind, he wouldn't have thought up to actually make a list of the small hints that xx was giving away gradually. the male felt minhyuk lean over his shoulder, glancing at the quick scribbles lining the edges of the pages with furrowed eyebrows since he didn't understand the clues like the brunette did.

    with a hopefully believable excuse on the tip of his tongue, the shorter male's class was interrupted but brief quick knocks on the door. their professor, mrs.kang, moved slowly to answer the door since she was quite frustrated to be interrupted during the middle of a lecture.

    everyone's eyes along with kihyun's stared at the exchange at the door, the two people briefly speaking for a moment before the door was closed and the professor turned back to her class with the two objects that the brunette knew were for him. a fourth letter and flower. the flowers were in a small bunch of the same kind this time, their thin stems being too weak to hold the large number of white blossoms growing off them.

    "kihyun, come collect these" mrs. kang spoke, confirming what the short male already knew to be the truth. getting out of his seat, he quickly hurried down the stairs to collect the gifts, bowing to the professor in thanks whilst the gasps of the rest of the class became nothing but white noise.

    with the questioning eyes of minhyuk on the side of his head as he sat back in his seat, he opened the letter beneath his desk to shield from his classmate's prying eyes and promptly blushed at the sweet words once again marking the page in dried ink.

_hey love,_

_my life was definitely boring before i met you, lacking all colour and light until you arrived. you had accidentally walked into my very first class last year, rubbing your eyes and yawning since you had clearly slept in. i remember clearly how your eyes had widened when you realised, your eyes connecting with mine for a split second before you had bowed to the class and sprinted out. and i remember how i wasn't able to focus at all, distracted by the beautiful angel that had just entered and left my class so quickly. you have a beautiful heart kihyun-ah and it radiates through your features._

_through your fingers that manage to hold a camera like it is the most precious thing in the world, but also firm. through the curve of your brows that are the first to quirk up before the corners of your mouth. through the dip in your lips that deepens when you give a simple smile, a dip that i hope i can one day trace with my own fingers. through the freckles on your forehead and cheeks that add the extra touch of beauty to an already beautiful canvas, i pray that i can count them one day by pressing my lips to each one. i really am entranced by you, kihyun-ah._

_yours sincerely,_   
_xx_


	5. 四 ❀ four

**FOUR**

**_unknown :_** i can see you beautiful  
**_unknown :_** your hair looks fluffier than yesterday  
**_unknown :_** did you get it cut

 ** _me :_** i'm in class  
**_me :_** how can you possibly see me?  
**_me :_** are you in my class??  
**_me :_** and yeah i got it cut this morning  
**_me :_** you noticed?

 ** _unknown :_** i guess you won't know until you figure out my identity sweetheart  
**_unknown :_** i could be  
**_unknown :_** or i could have just walked past the door and seen you  
**_unknown :_** and of course i noticed  
**_unknown :_** i notice everything about you

 ** _me :_** why can't you just tell me?  
**_me :_** by the time i know who you are, you won't like me anymore  
**_me_** : i'm horrible at being investigative  
**_me_** : can you give me a hint  
**_me :_** i dont know, maybe your name?

 ** _unknown :_** youre as smooth as sandpaper  
**_unknown :_** however a name i can do, you never said it had to be my actual

 ** _me :_** wait—

 ** _unknown :_** kkukkung  
**_unknown :_** and daniel

 ** _me :_** kkukkung? puppy?

 ** _unknown :_** yeah, apparentally i look like a puppy  
**_unknown :_** my friends have a strange sense of humor

 ** _me :_** and daniel? that's a western name

 ** _unknown :_** i lived in the states for a couple years so i had to adapt  
**_unknown :_** but that isn't the important thing, baby  
**_unknown :_** i would get off your phone

 ** _me :_** okay my kkukkungie

 ** _unknown :_** i would say i regret telling you that  
**_unknown :_** but now it just makes me want you to say it to me  
**_unknown :_** not over text  
**_unknown :_** until later, love

**❀**

 **K** IHYUN swallowed hard, still not accustomed to the pet names he was endlessly being peppered with and it took time for him to get his unwilling body to comply, pushing down the blush that wanted to creep up his neck. playing with a cheeky lock of hair that pulled free from his styled-up hair, he stretched out the brunette strands until his fingertips were gently pressed into his eyebrows, the fresh-cut tips barely grazing the skin of his eyelid. releasing, his eyes followed after it as it bounced back up and returning to it's original position before being stretched out.

    he had to go to the salon this morning, realising yesterday that it was getting too long and also that his black roots were returning, ending up making the brunette re-dye. kihyun wasn't alone however, minhyuk coming along so that he could get toners. the blonde was getting tired of his hair colour and wanted to dye it red instead, but hyunwoo said no and they agreed on buying the toners. it led to a grumpy blonde who quickly became cheeky, filling his arms up with assortment of toners and any other hair products that could change his hair colour but not dye it. when kihyun quirked an eyebrow, minhyuk smirked "he said i couldn't dye it, so i won't. i'll just turn my hair all colours of the rainbow" and leaving the younger male questioning how the pair ended up together, with minhyuk being overly-eccentric and bubbly while hyunwoo was more calm and collected.

    shaking his head to recollect his thoughts, he focused his eyes on the currently lilac-haired male next to him who was listening to the professor unlike him. he put his phone away and grabbed out his notebook instead, jotting down notes easily as the teacher spoke and doodling little pictures in the edges of his pages when he wasn't.

    so many questions plagued his mind now, and they were the types of questions that weren't able to be answered by anyone but kihyun so it was frustrating. he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that secret admirer refused to de-mask himself, even when he was a boy and he knew kihyun was gay. it was a little hurtful for the brunette, to be seem as someone who must look like he values looks over personality to others. making a mental note to change whatever habits encouraged those thoughts, his eyes flickered down to the seemingly random babble on his page in black ink that wasn't as random as the short male thought.

_kkukkung_   
_daniel_   
_lived in the states_   
_a centimetre shorter_   
_bi_   
_a boy_   
_sarcastic but sweet_   
_observant_

    kihyun had started to write a list without even thinking of it, and he had to congratulate his subconscious mind, he wouldn't have thought up to actually make a list of the small hints that xx was giving away gradually. the male felt minhyuk lean over his shoulder, glancing at the quick scribbles lining the edges of the pages with furrowed eyebrows since he didn't understand the clues like the brunette did.

    with a hopefully believable excuse on the tip of his tongue, the shorter male's class was interrupted but brief quick knocks on the door. their professor, mrs.kang, moved slowly to answer the door since she was quite frustrated to be interrupted during the middle of a lecture.

    everyone's eyes along with kihyun's stared at the exchange at the door, the two people briefly speaking for a moment before the door was closed and the professor turned back to her class with the two objects that the brunette knew were for him. a fourth letter and flower. the flowers were in a small bunch of the same kind this time, their thin stems being too weak to hold the large number of white blossoms growing off them.

    "kihyun, come collect these" mrs. kang spoke, confirming what the short male already knew to be the truth. getting out of his seat, he quickly hurried down the stairs to collect the gifts, bowing to the professor in thanks whilst the gasps of the rest of the class became nothing but white noise.

    with the questioning eyes of minhyuk on the side of his head as he sat back in his seat, he opened the letter beneath his desk to shield from his classmate's prying eyes and promptly blushed at the sweet words once again marking the page in dried ink.

 

_hey love,_

_my life was definitely boring before i met you, lacking all colour and light until you arrived. you had accidentally walked into my very first class last year, rubbing your eyes and yawning since you had clearly slept in. i remember clearly how your eyes had widened when you realised, your eyes connecting with mine for a split second before you had bowed to the class and sprinted out. and i remember how i wasn't able to focus at all, distracted by the beautiful angel that had just entered and left my class so quickly. you have a beautiful heart kihyun-ah and it radiates through your features._

_through your fingers that manage to hold a camera like it is the most precious thing in the world, but also firm. through the curve of your brows that are the first to quirk up before the corners of your mouth. through the dip in your lips that deepens when you give a simple smile, a dip that i hope i can one day trace with my own fingers. through the freckles on your forehead and cheeks that add the extra touch of beauty to an already beautiful canvas, i pray that i can count them one day by pressing my lips to each one. i really am entranced by you, kihyun-ah._

_yours sincerely,_   
_xx_


	6. 五 ❀ five

**FIVE**

**_kkukkungie :_** your pink hair was such a weakness  
**_kkukkungie :_** it was so pretty  
**_kkukkungie :_** ;;  
**_kkukkungie :_** it reminded me of cotton candy  
**_kkukkungie :_** which is funny because it is sweet and addicting, like you  
**_kkukkungie :_** wHO SPIKED MY SWEETS, IM A SAP

 ** _me :_** ****you've been a sap this entire time ??  
**_me :_** dont really understand how spiked sweets could make it worse  
**_me :_** if anything, you just became more upfront  
**_me :_** and i regretted my pink hair, that why i changed it

 ** _kkukkungie :_** aRE YOU KIDDING ME  
**_kkukkungie :_** I DON'T USUALLY LIKE PINK BUT DAYUM  
**_kkukkungie :_** i choked when i saw you the first time  
**_kkukkungie :_** because your lips looked so inviting with your hair being the same colour  
**_kkukkungie :_** you are such an addiction

 ** _me :_** why are you so sweet to me?  
**_me :_** what have i done to deserve this?  
**_me_** : i dont know you , but you are kind  
**_me_** : and thoughtful  
**_me :_** and loving

 ** _kkukkungie :_** because you deserve to be treated like the angel you are  
**_kkukkungie :_** to be cherished  
**_kkukkungie :_** to be with someone who will appreciate you the way i do  
**_kkukkungie :_** because you are my angel

 ** _me :_** im no angel

 ** _kkukkungie :_** to me you are  
**_kkukkungie :_** and no matter what you do, you always will be  
**_kkukkungie :_** my precious angel

 ** _me :_** whose an inch taller than you

 ** _kkukkungie :_** i wAS TRYING TO BE SWEET BUT NO  
**_kkukkungie :_** aTTACKED AGAIN

 ** _me :_** hehe

❀

    **K** IHYUN actually laughs off the screen too, tilting his head back slightly and his dimples appearing just below his cheekbones as his eyes form crescent lines. at first his friends, minus jooheon, are confused until they piece it together and realise that it's the secret admirer again. minhyuk had been unable to keep his mouth shut on what had happened in class yesterday and blabbed about it excitedly to the rest of the group two hours later, when they all had lunch together. that talk alone had caused seriously blushing, admiring over his flower and reading the letter. the only thing the brunette had been grateful about was the passcode on his phone which no one knew, especially not after he changed it when kkukkung had started to message him.

    "talk to us ki, what did he say?" minhyuk questions, leaning forward from hyunwoo's chest to hear the older males answer, his pale thin fingers still tangled with his boyfriends tanner wider fingers. kihyun blushed a light pink, staining his cheeks and the tops of his ears as he mumbled out a response so low that no one could hear him.

    "he called me sweet, and an addiction... and his precious angel" he says for the second time when urged to speak louder, his light pink deepening to the colour of red wine as his friends coo and pinch at his cheeks playfully, except for hyungwon who is straddling hoseok and with his face buried in the other's neck was sound asleep. hoseok just rubs his boyfriend's back as he moves around a little, sending a bright smile kihyun's way instead which the younger male is grateful for.

    everything calms down for a few minutes, the four awake males onto the topic of what class was next for them when jooheon finally arrives to their spot, and he's not alone by the familiar black-haired male standing merely a few feet away.

    kihyun chokes.

    he doesn't mean to, he swears he doesn't. it was just a shock to have the other male be so close, without a lense between them. minhyuk looks concerned and pats his back, in an effort to dislodge the invisible food and the brunette can only smile weakly at his efforts. taking a sip of water, he relaxes and breathes out heavily. "you know better than to scare me jooheon" he says in mock annoyance, and the youngest just laughs, knowing well enough that the only scary movie that actually scared him was it, and that's because his older siblings decided it would be a great idea for seven-year old kihyun to watch.

    "hush up jooheon, you know i adore scary movies. they are all so similar, its predictable" he continues after jooheon has finished laughing, and nods his head in agreement before sitting down on kihyun's right. the dark haired boy just stays standing and kihyun can almost feel him looking but he knows that it's just his mind playing around with him again.

    "changkyun, sit down. kihyun won't bite, he's too busy lusting after some secret admirer anyway" minhyuk chirps and he facepalms, wanting the ground to swallow him whole when the younger male tentatively sits next to him, although far enough away that the only thing that could touch was their hands. his heart pounds furiously and he can hear the blood in his ears, and yet his heart is a little torn.

_what about kkukkung?_

    "i'm not lusting, he's just so sweet and like a perfect gentlemen. and he actually has humour, unlike you guys" kihyun quips back and the toner-dyed purple minhyuk screeches in outrage, throwing himself at the brunette who wasn't expecting it, falling back onto the grass and rolling around. "you take that back! i am funny and you know it" he yells playfully, hitting kihyun who tries his best to suppress his giggles but when he looks up to see the faces that minhyuk is pulling, he looses it.

    the purple haired male is furrowing his eyebrows, puffing his cheeks and sticking out his tongue. he looks absolutely ridiculous and kihyun glances at hyunwoo for assistance. "are you gonna help me or not? what did you feed him with... sugar?" the eldest of the group just shakes his head, not bothering to help and kihyun groans, resting his head back on the grass momentarily before continuing to play fight.

    "he found my stash of chocolate and had toast with his nutella this morning" hyunwoo just sighs when minhyuk is finally done playing, collapsing next to the taller male heavily and resting his head in his lap, the older boy's fingers playing with the indigo strands and massaging the younger's scalp casually.

    "this is the reason why we hid our chocolate, and not buy nutella" kihyun scolded even though hyunwoo was older, acting like the mom of the flat which he had been dubbed since moving in, since he was the perfect housewife (minus the fact that he was a boy). minhyuk just grins like a cheshire cat "i was the one who bought the nutella, and have you seen where he hides his chocolate? its right next to his co—" he babbles out before his mouth gets covered by a red-faced hyunwoo who looks like he wants to join kihyun in being swallowed up by the earth.

    "too much chocolate" he mutters embarassed and doesn't move his hand from the others mouth, continuing to play with his boyfriend's hair with the remaining hand in hopes of calming him down from his sugar high.

    too caught up in the craziness, kihyun and jooheon miss how a stranger dressed completely in black walks up behind them and places a flower and fifth letter in the space between them. the younger of the two only noticed when his hand moves and instead of meeting soft grass, he mets the hardness of an envelope with soft petals brushing at his fingertips.

    "kihyun..." jooheon starts and the brunette turns his way and immediately notices the flower and letter by his hand. it's petals are thin and long, coloured white around its yellow centre and then slowly changing to a pretty purple towards the outermost petals. the scent is sweet by not overpowering and he holds it gentle in his hand, thumbing at the leaves on the stem as he opens the envelope with his other hand successfully.

    too focused on the words written on the page in flowing black ink, he misses how jooheon's friend watches his face, looking at him like he was precious china. like he was an ethereal, like he was an angel.

 

_hey love,_

_did you know that i have liked you for more than two years?_

_it's stemmed all the way from highschool and into college, and i went from admiring from afar to being the friend of a friend. i am like the aster which you are probably holding in your soft hands, i also symbolise patience : my patience to wait for you. i won't stop loving you, or believing in you because you are the one for me. my only one. how long will it take to realise that i am the one for you?_

_always yours,_  
_xx_


	7. 六 ❀ six

**SIX**

**_me :_** how much longer do i have to wait to find you?  
**_me :_** i just want you  
**_me :_** i want to find out what you face looks like  
**_me :_** what your voice sounds like  
**_me :_** if you really are an inch shorter or is it more?  
**_me :_** who knows? not me.

 ** _kkukkungie :_** attacked aGAIN  
**_kkukkungie :_** why would i think anything would change?  
**_kkukkungie :_** and i am only an inch shorter  
**_kkukkungie :_** but i am also younger, means another growth spurt

 ** _me_** : dammit

 ** _kkukkungie_** **:** caught you out, baby?

 ** _me :_** yeah—

 ** _kkukkungie :_** i can feel you pouting  
**_kkukkungie :_** now i have the image stuck in my head

 ** _me :_** why don't you come over here and change that then?  
**_me :_** i'm at the library

 ** _kkukkungie :_** that was still... so not smooth  
**_kkukkungie :_** so much sandpaper  
**_kkukkungie :_** why are you at the library anyway?  
**_kkukkungie :_** you never study here

 ** _me :_** i'm not studying  
**_me :_** moneys getting a little tight  
**_me :_** i work here so i took up extra shifts  
**_me :_** turns out the rent for a two bedroom apartment is not cheap  
**_me_** : plus it works out well, theres a cute boy who always studies here

 ** _kkukkungie :_** i could have told you that  
**_kkukkungie :_** my roommate and his boyfriend live with me  
**_kkukkungie :_** luckily our jobs pay well  
**_kkukkungie :_** or we would  
**_kkukkungie :_** wAIT  
**_kkukkungie :_** cute boy? who?

 ** _me :_** not sure of his name, i barely see him  
**_me :_** i dont have a crush, more hopeless pining

 ** _kkukkungie :_** pining after someone is as good as a crush  
**_kkukkungie :_** what does he look like?  
**_kkukkungie :_** i want to meet him and see if he's good enough for you  
**_kkukkungie :_** you deserve only the best

 ** _me :_** even if it's not you?  
**_me :_** what will you do then?

 ** _kkukkungie :_** yes, even if its not me  
**_kkukkungie :_** i'll wait for you  
**_kkukkungie :_** because i believe that one day, it will be me  
**_kkukkungie :_** i didn't last two years without patience

 ** _me :_** *chokes from sweetness*  
**_me :_**   one day, i am going to die because of this

 ** _kkukkungie :_** no you won't love  
**_kkukkungie :_** now quit stalling

 ** _me :_** damn okay  
**_me :_** he's got light brown hair  
**_me :_** and he always has sweater paws  
**_me :_** sometimes i see him with glasses, and i just die  
**_me :_** i've heard he is really smart too  
**_me :_** and his lips are so pink

 ** _kkukkungie :_** smart and handsome  
**_kkukkungie :_** sounds worthy for you  
**_kkukkungie :_** why don't you talk to him?

 ** _me :_** at first, i was scared  
**_me :_** i didn't want him to be one of those people  
**_me :_** the pretty ones with a bad personality

 ** _kkukkungie :_** at first  
**_kkukkungie :_** continue on baby, you are leaving something out

 ** _me :_** its you  
**_me :_** my reason is you

 ** _kkukkungie :_** me?  
**_kkukkungie :_** why i am your reason for not letting yourself be happy  
**_kkukkungie :_** why would you do that to yourself?

 ** _me :_** because  
**_me :_** i want to meet you  
**_me :_** to see your face  
**_me :_** hear your laugh  
**_me :_** and just because i like him, doesn't mean he likes me  
**_me :_** not the way you do

 ** _kkukkungie :_** you're conflicted  
**_kkukkungie :_** between him and... me?  
**_kkukkungie :_** between someone you can see and one you've never met  
**_kkukkungie :_** this is a joke, it has to be  
**_kkukkungie :_** i'm not lucky enough for a chance to be with you

 ** _me :_** it's no joke  
**_me :_** i am conflicted because of you  
**_me :_** because i want to give you a chance too  
**_me :_** and who cares if i haven't met you?  
**_me :_** you deserve to have me believe in you  
**_me :_** as much as you believe in me

❀

    **K** IHYUN adjusts his glasses as he watches his screen fade back to black without any new messages from the other male, pushing up the golden bridge that had been resting precariously on the end of his nose with an index finger. of course moving his glasses jostles his hair and pieces of his fringe fall into his eyes despite the glasses obstructing them. letting out a huff,  he fixes his fringe as well so that it doesn't fall into his eyes as bad. his face still feels hot from the small confession he had texted and after pushing his phone into the pocket of his black slacks, fans at his face with both hands like a girl that just saw a really hot shirtless guy. he cringes and switches the girl to a guy, muttering ' _ew my hetero is showing_ ' under his breath.

    it was mid-fan that the door to the break room is opened and panicked, kihyun sits on his hands although realising afterwards that it just made himself more suspicious as wonwoo raised a quirked eyebrow in his direction. but his coworker doesn't seem intent on embarrassing the older male today, slumping into the chair across from him, placing his head on folded arms and closing his eyes. kihyun notes the dark crescents present beneath his eyes and the paler skin tone. the younger male was studying literature and took vocal lessons with the brunette, but it was clear that his classes as well as living with his constantly hyperactive tree of a boyfriend was wearing him out if the small snores he was emitting had anything to say for it. kihyun decides to let him sleep and draping his coat over wonwoo's sleeping frame, writes a note that he would take the rest of his shift and to let the other boy rest.

    sticking the said note to the door, he hauls the closest stack of books onto the library's trolley, heading to the shelves to return the books. exams for the younger years had occurred earlier in the week, so most of the textbooks for certain subjects had been borrowed which resulted in the wooden shelves resembling swiss cheese with the amount of gaps caused by missing books. however the situation overall worked in kihyun's favour, since he was free and there was a lot more shifts to cover for the exam-taking coworkers.

    already by telling his boss jonghyun that he was free next week, kihyun had gotten himself an extra three shifts, comprising that with minhyuk's two shifts at the café and hyunwoo's entire weeknights at the gym as a trainer, they would be able to pass smoothly this month in terms of paying bills and apartment rent. luckily. 

    he refills another four shelves before his mind wanders, pulling his eyes along with it as he checks on their newest employee eunwoo. the youngest of the five librarians (jongin was out on a date with his fianceé) seems to work well though and kihyun's shoulders lose their tension, focusing on the bright smile and serene personality that eunwoo was delivering. attracted like two ends of a magnet, he finds himself looking at the topic for his and kkukkungie's conversation, the younger males head bowed with cinnamon-brown strands falling into his eyes as he looked at the math textbooks splayed open on his desk. kihyun just watches as he nibbles absent-mindely at the end of his pen, tapping it against his temple with a bright smile when he internally works out the answer, jotting it down on his book before moving onto the next question.

    moving his gaze away, he focuses on the book in his hands as to not get caught by the boy. that would just lead to explaining himself, and he would rather not want to talk to such a male when he had a lisp. it's not like he means to search for him, rather it just happens subconciously and before the short brunette realises it, his eyes are focused on the male that is doing anything but looking at him. it's pathetic really, but he can't help but be drawn like a moth to a flame.

    his presence always immediately calms him, being simple and comforting and warm. it's the polar opposite of _xx_ , who is intricate and loving and fiery-hot. xx reminds him of the sappy love novels that fill two shelves towards the front of the library, the ones with forbidden loves with men so hot it has him sweating. the younger male however reminds him of the feeling of relaxing after a day of work, of coming home. he feels like _home_. he feels like home and it just makes kihyun want to be wrapped up in his embrace even more.

    he wants to be able to see him up close, in person, rather than just zooming in with his camera. kihyun wants to be in those sappy novels where you count your lover's eyelashes and press kisses to their entire face, god, he could wish for nothing more than for it to be with him... or someone else. but the thought of not being able to choose between the two boys only seves as a migraine and as he massages his temples with one hand, begins putting away the last few books before heading over to switch places with eunwoo. 

    the youngest smiles gratefully and lets out a sigh, releasing his shoulders from their straight position and relaxing a little now that he didn't have everyone's eyes on him. he had it the hardest out of any of the five, taking courses in singing and acting but luckily his boyfriend wasn't as bad as wonwoo's man, and instead treated him like a complete prince when he had the chance too. it definitely made both kihyun and jonghyun a little jealous, the older of the pair had been trying his hardest to woo lee taemin for most of the year. kihyun looks again to the studying male but only briefly, focusing on talking to the long line of students in front of him holding their books that they want to borrow.

    wrapped up in his work, it's an hour later when he looks up and comes face to face with his six set of gifts, yet another flower and letter. kihyun's flower of today is a stunner, with three pointed warm yellow petals from the centre that are striped brown and tipped pink, the rest of the petals are wider and curve around the yellow petals yet are coloured a light pink. 

    one of his friends from his vocal class, park jinyoung, stands there holding the gifts towards him with an embarrassed look on his face. he immediately knows that jinyoung has to be a friend to xx, if his eight-year relationship with im jaebum has anything to say for it. "oh my, thank you" kihyun stammers out after a long while, realising that he hadn't even spoken yet.  

    "no need to thank me, it's um.. his gifts afterall" jinyoung replies, stammering a little also "he been getting me to give these to you for the past six days anyway" the younger finishes with a shrug and kihyun innocently giggles. "t-that wa-s-s you?" he manages to say between his laughs "i don't think i have ever seen anyone sprint away so fast"

    "yeah, i kinda remembered i left the stove on at home. jaebum and our other roommate can't cook to save their lives, so if i burnt down the kitchen, we would be screwed" he comments and kihyun sighs empathetically "i've done that too, but we've already got scorch marks from hyunwoo's attempts, now the closest he is allowed to a stove is when he's backhugging minhyuk".

    the pair laugh and jinyoung waves goodbye as kihyun opens his letter, eyes immediately roaming over the calligraphy words inked delicately on the page. 

    and once again, due to kihyun's intense focus on reading the letter in his hand and gently sniffing at the newest flower, he misses how jinyoung cups a hand on a familiar shoulder. he also misses the mentions of his name, the blush on his cheeks and the brunette swatting the older male's hands away.

 

_hey love,_

_to most people, wealth is only acquired in how much money you possess. my wealth however is you. your smiles, your laughter, your dimples, your freckles, everything you are even down to your slender fingers, is like precious gold to me. and i am the jealous dragon baby, i want you all to myself. i want your smiles to be for me, i want your dimples to make an appearance due to something i said, i want to lay next to you and count the freckles with my lips, i want to tangle my fingers with yours. wealth is not much when boasted about, but i want to proudly show you off as mine. when will i get the chance to?_

_always yours,_

_xx_


	8. 七 ❀ seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, this chapter is a lil sad

**SEVEN**

**_me_** : loneliness is a horrible thing  
**_me_** : it makes you hollow  
**_me_** : it also chews you up and spits you out, yet you still crave for it  
**_me_** : for that affection you are lacking  
**_me_** : but i am so confused  
**_me_** : i have friends, amazing friends who ensure im never alone  
**_me_** : they're always by my side even if i don't want them to be  
**_me_** : they always make sure to include me  
**_me_** : yet im lonely and jealous because they have their other halves  
**_me_** : their perfect person and i have... no one

 ** _kkukkungie_** : love  
**_kkukkungie_** : you aren't alone  
**_kkukkungie_** : you'll always have me, even if it isn't in the physical sense

 ** _me_** : but i need someone physically  
**_me_** : someone to fall asleep with  
**_me_** : who will cuddle me and not leave  
**_me_** : who i can see looking at me...  
**_me_** : like.. like im the only one in the world

         
**_kkukkungie_** : baby, i can be all these things for you  
**_kkukkungie_** : but you need to figure out who i am first  
**_kkukkungie_** : because it proves to me, that you want me as much as i want you  
**_kkukkungie_** : and i am not leaving you empty-handed, am i?  
**_kkukkungie_** : i bet you've made a list already, haven't you?

 ** _me_** : i have

 ** _kkukkungie_** : good job sweetheart  
**_kkukkungie_** : keep working it out  
**_kkukkungie_** : find the little clues  
**_kkukkungie_** : find the missing pieces and finish the picture  
**_kkukkungie_** : then you can have all the cuddles  
**_kkukkungie_** : all the kisses in the world

 ** _me_** : with you?

 ** _kkukkungie_** : no with the mirror  
**_kkukkungie_** : of course, i meant with me  
**_kkukkungie_** : i think that the lack of sleep is getting to you

 ** _me_** : maybe  
**_me_** : but i was sad and frustrated  
**_me_** : i ranted, and you just listened  
**_me_** : and calmed me down  
**_me_** : i'll keep working to figure out who you are

 ** _kkukkungie_** : i don't doubt that for a single second sweetheart

❀

     **K** IHYUN yawns sleepily, fighting to keep his eyes open as he stretches his arms above his head after placing the delicate flowers back on his desk. his eyes feel so heavy and he's tempted to go to bed and curl in the covers, if it wasn't for the ensemble in front of him. the bookmarks, silk ribbons, pressed flowers, colourful markers and pens, sheets of shiny laminating paper and not to mention the open empty hard-cover book, all there because he had decided to start a personal project of his own late at night. it'd been due to a sudden realisation that his precious flowers, kkukkungie's gifts to him, would slowly begin to wilt and die. the thought alone had caused him to almost cry, the flowers were courtship presents and he would damned to let them leave him. so the brunette had pressed his four oldest flowers into one of the heavier textbooks from his first-year, the pages on where the pressed-flower bookmark would rest being filled with the intricate details of his day in bright colours and also the letter of that day.

    he should have known how long the book would take to fill, since he was doing everything by hand, but when the group suddenly made plans it had been like the rug was pulled from beneath his feet. it left him having to do everything later, despite the internal clock counting down agonising slow for his soft-petaled beauties.

    gunhee was finally able to have a small break, it was only a week long but it meant so much more to the seven of them, knowing that he had been asking for it for the last six months. jooheon had wasted no time scheduling a movie night at the trio's flat, since it was the largest and had the best tv. kihyun couldn't find it in himself to disagree, the need to see his friend easily overwhelming it.

    it had been a wild night, all seven loaded up on sugar as they watched movie after movie, going through disney to romance to scary and then back to disney. yet, they all had fallen asleep halfway through pocahontas.

    minhyuk and hyunwoo had disappeared first, creeping away to their bedroom so that didn't have to share the couch or the blow-up mattress with the other couples. hyungwon slept on the said mattress, feet dangling off the edges but not seeming to care since his arm was thrown over a much smaller male, hoseok curled closely into his chest.

    kihyun's heart ached however, when he had moved from the second couch to notice how jooheon and gunhee were sleeping on the first.

    with his back resting on the arm of the couch, the older male had jooheon sitting sideways in his lap with his face pressed into his neck. his arms encircling the other male protectively as they slept whilst the smaller's fingers found purchase in his jumper by fisting it tightly in his hands, as if he was afraid that his boyfriend would disappear otherwise. and even from where kihyun had stood, he could see the shining trails that caught the light, exposing that they were both crying in their sleep.

    the long months of not seeing each other for more than twenty minutes as gunhee dropped him off at university, had taken it's toll on the both of them. jooheon had tried to stay strong, keep a brave face, but it weakened over time as he couldn't even face-time without having one of the staff cut it too short.

    he sighed again when he thought about their predicament, the loneliness in his stomach seeming to curl and grow.

    why could he have someone who physically loved him _that_ much?

    someone who would cry after being separated for months?

    someone who would twirl him the way that gunhee did when jooheon and him first locked eyes?

    someone who would be domestic and wrap him up in backhugs while he cooked, like minhyuk and hyunwoo do?

    why couldn't he have someone who would cuddle him at night and fall asleep together, like hyungwon and hoseok?

    it wasn't fair that while his friends all got their happy endings with their loved ones, that he was stuck with a pained heart and a horrible green monster twisting low in his belly. tapping his black pen against his temple in a manner he had copied from a certain cinnamon-haired male, he thought for the correct words to use before jotting them down under the electric blue marker header and slipping that day's letter into the resealable sleeve.

    he would have missed the quiet knocks at their front door if pocahonta's opening screen hadn't decided to finish moments beforehand. kihyun sighed gratefully when he realised that he had just finished, so all he had to do was go answer the door before crawling into the bed that was calling his name.

    slowly padding his way to the front door, he breathes out a sigh of relief to know that no one had stirred from the sudden knocks at the door at five to midnight. the door creaked as he opened it, and he couldn't help but wince before smiling at the male on the other side of the door.

    jaebum smiled awkwardly and waved with his free hand, as wide awake as kihyun was, and the brunette wondered how he wasn't stumbling on his feet. he had tripped twice on the way  to the door because of how tired he was, it only made it worse that he had nothing to trip over.

    "i won't stay long, kihyun, but a _friend_ of mine asked me to drop these off for you." the older male says softly. he hands over a blue flower which kihyun holds like it was fragile glass, along with a seventh letter and plushie that he pulls from a bag in his hand. "he also said to read the tag" he adds in as an afterthought and kihyun nods.

    "oh okay, thank you so much. see you in class tomorrow?" he asks quickly, knowing that both of them are eager for bed, and jaebum nods before walking back to his flat, a couple levels below his.

    quickly huddling back to his room, kihyun tries not to damage the flower before he can place it in the vase with the rest. it had a cone shape to it with a thick stem, small flowers blossoming on the cone in a blue colour that bordered on violet. the plushie was soft to the touch, a wolf with warm brown eyes and a cinnamon-coloured pelt.

    turning off all the lights except his bedside lamp, he quickly changes into his pyjamas before sitting on the edge of his bed, wolf in his lap. he lifts the soft toy closer to his face, fingertips reaching for the pale green tag that hung from it's neck with a emerald ribbon.

**_here's a plushie version of me, so that you don't feel alone at night love_ **

    he gasps a little at the kind gesture, bringing the animal closer to his face and revelling himself in it's scent. it takes a second or two before his eyes widen, pulling the toy away before bringing to back.

    the wolf has a scent, but it's not that smell you get from newly bought toys. he's a little worn, and smells like spices and warmth, kkukkungie had sprayed his own cologne on there to make the older male feel more comfortable. and he does.

    pulling the animal with him underneath the sheets, he tucks it into his side as he opens his letter. hungry eyes scan over the words and he briefly chokes at hoe sweet the other male was being tonight.

 

_hey love,_

_even with all my letters and our texts, it's clear to see how much you struggle with accepting someone who cares for you even if you crave attention and comfort. and yet, my precious jewel, i care for you more than mere words can express. i cannot fathom anything else but you when i see cherry blossoms, or cameras, flowers and now books. everything reminds me of you, and it just urges me to have you as my own, to protect you and love you like no one else can. for the short while that you cannot have me in the physical sense that you explained, have him. circle his body with your arms, and sleep peacefully knowing that you are in my mind, in my dreams and hopefully one day in the future, in my arms._

_always yours,_  
_xx_

❀

_hello honeybees,_

_to anyone who was wondering the state of the beginning of the chapter, i've been a little down lately and decided to use my mood to build on both kihyun's '_ _ lonely _ _' aspect of his character and xx's '_ _ need-to-provide-comfort-and-safety-to-the-ones-he-loves _ _' aspect. the fluff of the overall chapter is still high thankfully which i am glad for, who else is enjoying their small interactions?_

_yes i know that this chapter is quite-joogun centered, but it helps build their characters also... whelp._

_also, i wanted to thank all of you who read, vote and comment on every chapter of this book when it comes out. this wasn't even supposed to be a hit, merely just a way to relax and wind down from caffeine, yet i cannot be more pleased from the love and support i have received from all of you._

_sit tight and hold on for the ride, only twenty four chapters left!_


	9. 八 ❀ eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, look at me...im on a roll
> 
> this chapter is really long (well for me anyway), between 3 to 3.5K
> 
> personally dedicated to my best friend violet ❤

**EIGHT**

[7:00 a.m]  
**_kkukkungie :_** good morning sweetheart, i know you are probably busy getting ready but i wanted to wish you luck

[9:56 a.m]  
**_kkukkungie :_** love?  
**_kkukkungie :_** theres just a few more hours til i get to see you  
**_kkukkungie :_** and i hope you do your best today

 ** _me :_**??  
**_me :_** what are you talking about?  
**_me :_** i've got nothing on today??

 ** _kkukkungie :_** you're a little off then love  
**_kkukkungie :_** today's your vocal performance  
**_kkukkungie :_** remember

 ** _me :_** vocal performance?  
**_me_** : thats not unt—  
**_me :_** ajabsuaheusan  
**_me :_** i slept through my alarms, oh my god  
**_me :_** theres four hours left and im not ready!!

 ** _kkukkungie :_** adorable  
**_kkukkungie :_** justrelax love  
**_kkukkungie :_** you'll do amazing, just like last year  
**_kkukkungie :_** i'll be cheering for you, my precious angel

 ** _me :_** you will be there  
**_me_** : watching me?

 ** _kkukkungie :_** of course  
**_kkukkungie :_** i'll be in one of the closer rows, right close to you  
**_kkukkungie :_** i can't wait to see what song you perform this year

 ** _me :_** one of the front rows...  
**_me_** : i'll look for you

 ** _kkukkungie :_** i've learned to never underestimate you  
**_kkukkungie :_** give it everything you've got, love  
**_kkukkungie :_** show everyone how powerful your voice really is

 ** _me :_** i will  
**_me_** : and you will be on my mind for every second of my stage

 ** _kkukkungie :_** yabauMsgsyan  
**_kkukkungie :_** im fine, totally fine  
**_kkukkungie :_** my hearts just exploded, no biggie

❀

 **K** IHYUN giggled madly as he pressed his face into the cinnamon fur of his wolf, his anxiety quickly seeping away as he buried his pink cheeks into the soft pelt, trying to muffle the sounds to not wake up his friends who were clearly still sleeping. he had slept so peacefully last night with the toy wolf curled in his arms, the spicy warm cologne making his heart dance in his chest. it had been the best sleep he had ever had, despite the sudden wake up by the buzzing of his phone on his cheek.

    a sudden thought arose his head as his giggles died down, and he lifted his head with a confused expression at the idea yet the quirk at his lips showed that he was thinking it over. before he had known about the other male, kihyun had already chosen a song that would show off his vocals with the abilities to hit high notes even in it's simplest form. but he had him now, someone who was infatuated with him yet wouldn't reveal himself and it made him want to _tease_. maybe if he teased, he would crack under the pressure and reveal his identity. it wasn't much, but blood pounded furiously in his ears from the exciting possibility of maybe.

    luckily yongguk, the male who organised the music for the event, had created a few different vibes for everyone's songs, allowing them to choose rather than just the actual song. he had given four to kihyun being the original, the slowed down version, a peppy upbeat version and a fourth that was a high risk. kihyun knew exactly which one he would choose.

    pulling his phone from beneath his pillow where it had hidden away, he sent quick texts to the older male.

 ** _me :_** i've changed my mind  
**_me :_** i'll go with the risk

 ** _yongguk :_** okay, i'll change it over now  
**_yongguk :_** what about your outfit?  
**_yongguk :_** it wont suit such a concept

 ** _me :_** dw  
**_me :_** i'm heading to the salon soon  
**_me :_** i'll get an outfit while i'm there

 ** _yongguk :_** the salon?  
**_yongguk :_** just how much of a change are you making?

 ** _me :_** ahuge one  
  


    kihyun sent his last message as he pulled an old white shirt over his head, getting himself dressed as soon as possible so that he could head to the salon. for the style that he was planning on getting, despite only being there four days ago, he knew it would take up half of the time he had left.

    before he left, he pondered for a moment and reach back to grab his camera.

    his friends had definitely changed their sleeping positions since last night and he quickly took a photo before smiling. hoseok had become the little spoon, the younger's long arms thrown across his shoulders and a leg secured around his hips to pull him back into hyungwon's body. jooheon and gunhee had finally changed their position, now lying down on the couch and kihyun sighed happily, knowing that they wouldn't have to deal with stiff backs if they'd continued to sleep in the position from last night. gunhee was on his back with jooheon on his chest, his hands resting on the small sliver of skin shown by the younger's raised shirt.

    leaving a note explaining where he was going, kihyun slipped out of the flat and sprinted towards the salon. he only paused once when he accidentally bumped into a boy in his rush to weave around what felt like the entire university body, today was just not his day. muttering an apology and giving a short bow, he continued on his way without looking at the other's face, leaving a pink-faced cinnamon-haired male to stare at his back longingly.

     jennie greeted the panting male at the door, a hand on his back and laughing whilst he rested his hands on his knees. she had been his hair dresser for all three of the years he had been at university, and he couldn't be more grateful since she was one of the best. "your roots aren't back yet ki" she said amused, poking at his hair which was still completely brown. he just shook his head and laughed, standing up straight now that he had regained the ability to breathe properly.

    "actually, i wanted to have my hair..." he whispered into her ear, explaining what he wanted done and pulled back to see her shocked yet appreciative face. jennie wasn't one to sugarcoat things, often telling kihyun went the colours he picked were a bad idea, like the sky-blue hair he had wanted in first year so her face relaxed his worries. "that sounds like a great idea, ki! i can give you hairspray to style it up or i can do it myself" she said happily and he paused before choosing the second option.

    "everyone's expecting a simple and calm performance from me, so i really want to surprise them with what i can actually do" kihyun explained easily and jennie just nodded, ushering him over to one of the stations only to push him into the seat.

    "a surprise, huh? i know a good outfit that will catch their attention and lisa can do your makeup while i'm doing your hair, sound good? if you need it, you can borrow my hoodie to hide your face and new hair" she helped and thank-yous rolled off of kihyun's tongue as nodded quickly to her proposal. jennie quickly ushered her girlfriend over since the salon was basically empty, explaining what kihyun wanted before chastely kissing the younger's cheek, lisa bouncing off to gather the makeup.

    kihyun relaxed back in the seat as jennie ran her slim fingers through his hair, sectioning off and twirling his hair together with blue clips. the moment her hands left his hair was also the moment that lisa started applying makeup, warning him to stay still or she would mess up and kihyun complied.

    "i won't add much" lisa smiled "you don't really need it since your skin is clear and who should ever hide these adorable freckles" she continued and gently poked the freckle on his forehead, causing him to scrunch up his face and make her laugh. "i'll just add a base of concealer, with brown eyeshadow and eyeliner for the eyes, and a two-tone lip bar for your mouth. sound good?" she continued and kihyun seeing the concealer close to his face, made a noise in his throat as a yes so that he wouldn't move too much.

    "just rest kihyun, we'll wake you when it's over" jennie said gently and kihyun closed his eyes, internally wishing for his wolf in his arms again but he would take what he could get. before he could fall asleep however, he raised his camera.

    "do you think you could take photos of my hair for me, i've got this photography portfolio due in a couple of days"

    "sure, just sleep now and i'll take a couple when it's done"

    "thanks"

     closing his eyes, kihyun was lulled to sleep by the gentle music playing and the soft movements on his face and hair.

 –•—•–

    kihyun was woken two hours later with jennie shaking at his shoulders gently, lisa bouncing on the balls of her feet with a wide grin and a mirror in her hands. he could feel the makeup on his face, how his lips weren't as chapped and how his hair smelt like dye but also the coconut-scented conditioner they used.

    "damn ki, i gotta say that lisa did a great job. you look sexy and this coming from a completely homosexual female" jennie quipped and the three of them burst into laughter. a few of the other customers looked over at him, trying to see the face of the ' _sexy_ ' male, but due to where the couple were standing around him, all they got was a view of his muscular thighs in skinny jeans.

    he was handed a oversized zip-up black hoodie and put it on quickly, zipping it up and obscuring his face with the hood. "about your outfit, just go to jisoo and rosé's shop next door. i've already messaged them with your sizes so it should be ready when you get there" jennie instructed and kihyun nodded, pulling out his wallet and paying for his hair, making sure to add in the largest tip he could manage for the girl's help despite the two trying to give it back.

    customer's watched with hungry eyes as he got up, completely drinking his thighs and he just chuckled to himself, thinking of how they would probably react if hoseok or hyunwoo came here, their thighs easily twice as muscular as his (much to hyungwon and minhyuk's delight). he felt tempted to run his hands through his hair as he exited the store to enter the clothing one next door, to feel the new lengths but he had to stop himself, pushing his hands into his pockets and reminding himself of the performance tonight to diminish the thought.

    like the pair had promised, a girl that kihyun presumed to be either jisoo or rosé was at the counter, with a plastic bag containing his outfit resting against the cashier. he smiled warmly as he entered, only slightly raising his head so that she would know it was him that she was waiting for. it seemed to work. "kihyun i'm guessing? hello, i'm jisoo. for your outfit, we've got a pair of..." she said and explained his outfit, pulling each piece out one by one. it was a great but he could feel something missing. then it clicked.

    "do you have any chokers?"

–•—•–

    there was twenty minutes left now until he had to go on stage and kihyun pulled on his leather jacket, spraying his hair with a little more hairspray as he styled it up with his fingers. the other five, now six that gunhee was able to come, where all waiting for him outside the changing room and expecting a lot different to what he was going to give. he'd come in half an hour ago with his newly bought outfit hidden beneath the one he was originally planning to wear, with minhyuk trying to pull at his hoodie.

    but now it was time to go out, he couldn't stall it any longer and if he was honest with himself, he wanted to see the looks on all of their faces. so adjusting his black ripped jeans to show certain areas of skin, he checked his makeup one last time in the mirror and deeming it flawless opened the door.

    exclaimed shrieks met him as the six pairs of eyes either focused on his hair, his outfit or what exactly was shown from the ripped jeans.

    "what happened to your hair?"

    "you're wearing a leather jacket?!"

    "since when did you have tattoos?"  
  
    questions bombarded him for all angles, but it was the last one that attracted everyone except hoseok's eyes to his thighs were his two tattoos were now fully exposed. 

    "two years. i got them when i went with hoseok to get his tattoos, i just cover mine with makeup" kihyun explained and watched as minhyuk poked them in innocent curiosity, checking his finger to see if they were makeup, but the diamond on his right thigh and the quote on his left stayed put. 

     hoseok whistled "you look hot ki, it's easy to see that you're trying to catch someone's attention" he said afterwards, everyone clambering to agreed and kihyun smiled widely at the compliments he was being basked in. 

    "yoo kihyun, you're on in two minutes" a new voice joined the conversation, belonging to himchan, yongguk's boyfriend. he smiled uneasily, the nerves starting to curl in his stomach despite the adrenaline that had fuelled most of his morning. hyungwon placed a calming hand on his shoulder and he leaned into the contact, easily placed in the middle of a cuddle party with the rest of them making sure that his hair or make-up wasn't messed up. kihyun was truly blessed with the best friends he could ever ask for. 

    two minutes later he was on the middle of a stage in the pitch black.

    "and that brings us to our final performance of the night, yoo kihyun, who will be singing a cover of bruno mar's 'runaway baby' in a way you've never heard before. give it up for kihyun!"

    a pale orange light focused on him and he started to walk around, rolling his head as he waited to for the music to start. he was met with excited screams from the crowd, who had been expecting him in a white shirt and long grey cardigan, to sing a slower version. they weren't expecting him with ripped jeans, a leather jacket, choker and lighter brown hair newly shaved on the sides. he was a stunner. 

    the music started and he awed them right off the bat, his voice matching the rock-version of the song perfectly. he hit all the high notes, showing his cuter side when he stepped from side to side in one part, his sexier side through the head-banging and hip thrusts. 

    boys and girls alike were going crazy, anyone that knew the lyrics were singing along with him.

    his eyes constantly searched through the first three rows in the crowd, looking for kkukkungie which was hard considering he didn't know what he looked like and everyone was staring at him with love-struck eyes. he did notice how a certain cinnamon-haired male sitting next to jooheon was one of them, feeling himself blush underneath the makeup as he continued to sing. 

    the end of his song drew closer, and without thinking, he pointed to the male as he sung "see i ain't trying to hurt you baby" before focusing his gaze somewhere else as he shook his free hand with the next lyric. 

    it ended and kihyun panted hard, the lights dimming. with the yelling of the students becoming nothing but white noise, kihyun locked eyes with the male once again and still feeling the adrenaline rushing through his veins, winked at him and bit his lip seductively. he would have time to blush over this later, but for now he would drink in the bright red face caused because of him. the rest of the singers came onto the stage in a line, including hyungwon and hoseok that did a stage together performing hoseok's own song. 

    "it's been a long night, filled with many amazing singers but we have to choose one winner. so could our winner please step forward.... yoo kihyun!" his teacher exclaimed and his eyes widened as he stepped forward, the crowd applauding his win for the second year in a row. 

    "you've done an amazing job kihyun and by choosing a different-version of this song shows that you can expand your boundaries, you have great potential as a singer" one of the other teachers commented and kihyun nodded at the praise. 

    himchan quickly walked onto the stage, holding a small trophy as well as two flowers and a letter he knew was from the other male. kihyun beams brightly as he accepts the gifts, the teachers persuading him to read the letter, becoming common gossip around the campus that he had a loving admirer. he moved the small golden trophy to the crook of his elbow, holding his flowers in the same hand as he opened his letter to read in front of everyone.

    his eyes watered a little as he read, and he had to move the letter away mid-read to make sure that none of his salty droplets ruined the intricate calligraphy marking the page. 

 

_hey love,_

_i chose this particular flower for you today, since it was a year ago today that you sang your own cover of that goblin ost. it suited to well as do the red and white stock flowers that you are holding in your hand which mean_ _you'll always be beautiful to me' in the flower language. do you remember how you locked eyes with me that night? probably not since i was just one face among many. but i remember and it was the start of everything for me._

_yes i have liked you since highschool. and i may have lied a little about being bisexual, you have been the only guy i wanted and i wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. but it was at that vocal performance that i decided to start this, start all these letters filled with sweet words and compliments for you, and you only._

_i like you, but can you come to like me back?_

_always yours,_  
_xx_

  
  


 


	12. A/N

hello everyone, 

i know its been a very long and anxious wait for the next chapter. however i am no longer happy with this ao3 account hence i made another one. i should have told you sooner, but i needed a break for school and personal issues. but i miss writing so,,,here i am!! 

i am rewriting bouquet, adding in more parts to the story to make their romance seem as real as possible.

my other ao3 account is @/freckledlix

first update should be two or three days after my birthday, so the 11th or 12th of june.

thank you!


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